This doujin has given me a bit to think about for a bedtime read. I've heard from a friend that it's not unheard of for couples in 'passion-driven' fields to end up in situations where they put off their relationship for similar reasons as those Junna presents: "I don't want to get in the way of your dreams", or "I don't feel like I match up to you yet", or "I think this isn't the time just yet." I think this would especially be the case if one's partner were someone you truly admired, both personally and professionally. The friendship one's partner has imparted on one teaches one how to be brave, as it were.
While this doujin presents the core issue fairly cutely -- and all's well that ends well, of course --, things would have taken a drastic turn for the worse had Junna not, or were she to never, score that leading role.
At the very beginning, one's feelings of low self-worth or insecurity prompt one to slowly break off contact. Perhaps parting might drive one towards their goals with a greater sense of urgency, as one aspires to be the sort of person they want themselves to be -- the sort of person they would be proud of showing to their loved ones.
Five years down the road, the burden of not having accomplished what you set out to do wears you down. You start to wonder what it's all been for, and perhaps you hope for things to go back to how they once were. But there is no such return, and perhaps the hypocrisy of your weakness shames you even further, turning whatever was left of your sparse correspondence into silence. And what once was a mixture of hope and fear now turns into dread and angst.
As time continues to pass, maybe one continues to struggle for their dreams, and maybe one succeeds. But to what end? That initial driving force is no more, and what you're left with is a veneer of self-satisfaction and professional dignity. You've taken your life in a brave new direction out of trepidation, and now you must see if you're able to live with it.
Or maybe one simply gives in and compromises with reality. Yet -- perhaps -- one may find this a bitter pill to swallow. A compromise with reality would invalidate all those years of hard work, all of one's aspirations, and the conviction one held when one made that initial decision to break away.
Whichever way it is, the courage with which one may face up to one's past decisions no longer remains. At the moment, one might even, like Nana -- a hapless bystander -- try to convince themselves that it was just a passing phase or fancy.
But ten years, twenty years, thirty years down the road, when the light of youthful ambition dies down, all that remains is the shadow of the person one once wanted to be, casting long down the boulevard of broken dreams.
last edited at Apr 15, 2024 10:16PM
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